Dating Someone With PTSD, Depression, and Anxiety: A Beginner’s Guide
So…..
You wanna date someone with a laundry list of mental illnesses,
Or at least you don’t know you do yet.
It’s the first date, or you two just met and the reality is,
You’re in for some shit you probably never planned on.
So you wanna date someone who sometimes feels the grip of their attackers in your hugs,
Tastes the sting of victim blaming on your lips,
Feels knives burn into their insides as your move inside,
Feels the weight of a galaxy on their chest when you’re on top of them and then can’t stop feeling it after you got off.
You unknowingly but willingly play Russian Roulette with a Trauma Survivor who happens to like kink,
and watch the insides pop out like a jack in the box when the move y’all been doing for the past week has a bullet attached to it,
a sign that they’ve been triggered.
Things you’re gonna need to know:
One.
Saying we aren’t thinking clearly is fucking redundant.
We know we’re not in the right state of mind,
and chances are we’ve known for a while,
Think about how easy it is to see out a car with a broken windshield in the middle of the winter while the defrost setting is broken.
Think about what it looks like to know that there will never be a day you can call in depressed, call in traumatized,
call in can’t call in because fingers won’t stop shaking and you don’t know why,
Can’t call in too weak to move cause foods so far away and so close at the same time,
Can’t call in spoonless, helpless, hopeless
Call in every time I close my eyes I still see their face and hear their voice.
We are not strangers to misery, we are the landlords of it, and it is never short on rent.
Two.
We value the little things a lot,
Little Sleep,
Little Food,
Little Water,
Little Time Alone With Our Thoughts Because Thoughts Are Scary,
Little Time To Breathe, Little Room To Breathe, Little Desire To Breath,
Little Things We Can No Longer Do Because They Remind Us Of Not So Little Things,
Little Aggressions In The Form Of Little Letters Arranged Into Little Words On Little Pieces Of Paper Resulting In No So Little Of A Problem Because People With Little Minds and Little Hearts Have A Not So Little Amount Of Money And Want All The Space For Themselves,
Little, Like The Amount Of Time We Sometimes Feel We Have Left…
But We Also Like Little Kisses On Cheek,
Little Moments Where Showers Feel Like Meditation,
Little Hugs From Behind To Show How Love Us And Make Us Feel Little In Your Not So Little Comfort,
Little Thoughts About Doing Some Little Freaky Stuff With Some Not So Little Volume And Passion,
Little Finger Wrapped In Little Finger To Make Not So Little A Promise,
Little Increases In Heartbeat When We Think Of You,
Ya Know, The Little Things.
Know That We Have Little Knowledge Of Which Will Come Next, And That Sometimes They Will Come At The Same Time And MaKe Not So Little Shit Happen.
So, Just Giving Ya That Little Heads Up.
Three. We are not your patient, so don’t treat us like one.
Meaning we’re not against help, but that’s not always the reason you’re here.
Yes, we’re here for you being here when we can’t get out of bed to eat and help us with food.
But we’re also here for going out to brunch on a Saturday Morning hungover and going to the bar that night to do it again the next morning.
We’re here for you being here when a kiss is a nuclear warhead, but we’re also here for when it’s a full body orgasm and cuddle session afterwards.
We’re here for when you’re here for when we don’t wanna be here,
But we’re also here for when here is the only place we wanna be so,
Know that you’re not on the clock, cause nine times outta ten we can’t pay you with anything other than love and gratitude,
And then bank isn’t always open or full,
But the thought’s always there.
We’re here for when you’re here for all of these things that are not so good, but we’re here for the moments when things are so wonderful we can’t help but smile rainbows and robot unicorns.
So you, you wanna date someone with a laundry list of mental illnesses, here’s one last thing I’ll say in advice:
If you wanna date someone like me, someone like us, maybe even someone like you….
It’s always a good idea to have this guide with you, but it won’t help on its own.
Because the only way to know our story, is to read it, from beginning to end.